COMMITCRIMES
Dept. of Version ControlPermanent RecordCC-2009-312-1EDA
8-6-4-2-0-
getify
Inmate@getify

HT: 16.6 yrs on record

Kyle Simpson

Misdemeanant
A.K.A.@getify, Kyle Simpson
M.O.JavaScript, HTML, C++
Member Since2009
Known Associates45134 followers
Prior Convictions74 repos
StatusCONVICTED

Sentence

27 years

Charges filed · 4 count(s)

  • § 290-1Disturbing the PeaceMISDEMEANOR11y

    10 commits logged between 1 and 4 AM

  • § 311-2Sabbath BreakingMISDEMEANOR10y

    21 commits pushed on weekends. Touch grass.

  • § 510-7Abandonment of PropertyMISDEMEANOR4y

    4 repos left for dead: no stars, untouched 1yr+

  • § 118-2Obstruction of ClarityMISDEMEANOR2y

    1 commit message a stranger could not decode

The State of GitHub v.

@getify

commitcrimes.dev

Filed in the District Court of Diff · Hon. Judge git-blame presiding · no real statutes were consulted
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