About

CommitCrimes reads a GitHub account's public activity and files charges for crimes against version control: forty commits that say only “fix,” pushes to main at 3 AM, a repo left for dead. Then it hands down a sentence.

None of it is real. There are no charges and no convictions. Only public git history, read uncharitably for a laugh. CommitCrimes is parody.

How it works

We read your public profile and repo history, then apply a fixed set of rules. No source code is read or stored.

Repos all private? Sign in with GitHub for a Deep Record. It reads your own data, with your consent, and never sees your code.

Not GitHub

An independent parody project, not affiliated with or endorsed by GitHub, Inc.

Remove your record

Take yourself off the books anytime on Remove my record. The Privacy page covers what we keep.